


What Lies Within

by panotaku95



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Adopted Lance, Also Lotor isn't a dick in this fic, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, At least that's not my intention, Enjoy readers :), Female pronouns for Pidge, Fluff, Gahhhhh!!!, I PROMISE IT'LL GET BETTER!!!, It just kind of happened, It'll be a trip for sure, Lance has secrets even he doesn't know about muhahaha, PLEASE KEEP READING ANYWAY, SCRATCH THAT...LOTOR IS A TOTAL ASSHOLE I'M SO SORRY, Slow Burn, Trying for a long fic, because i love them, minor shallura, we shall see
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-25
Updated: 2017-07-12
Packaged: 2018-11-18 22:12:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11299890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/panotaku95/pseuds/panotaku95
Summary: Lance starts having dreams about a beautiful Galra that whispers secrets about powers Lance swears he doesn't have. Tensions are high following Shiro's disappearance and Lance feels the pressure close in on him, especially when the team is faced with a big choice that may leave him in the dust.





	1. You've Got the Wrong Guy

_We did it. We are a good team._

Lance gasped as he was suddenly jolted out of his dream by a knock at the door, a blush staining his cheeks. Lately he'd been having a lot of dreams about Keith and he didn't quite know what to think about it. Maybe he'd talk to Blue, sort out his feelings or something.

Wait, feelings? Haha, Lance didn't have feelings for the red paladin. That would be preposterous.

Yeah. Definitely not a crush or whatever.

He looked to his door, dream momentarily put on the shelf. _Who could that possibly be?_ Letting out a sigh of frustration, he pulled the covers off of himself and stalked to his room's entrance. As the door slid open, Lance's eyes grew wide. Standing in front of him was none other than the star of his recent dreams: Keith Kogane.

He was still wearing his pajamas, which would have been surprising in the beginning of their space excursion, but not anymore. Lance had somehow convinced Keith to don the lion pajamas and robe set that Allura provided them. Sometimes they'd stay up after dinner and evening training, just enjoying each other's presence. They always changed into their pajamas just in case they got too sleepy. They'd go for walks around the castle, finding hidden rooms with items marked with Altean words they never learned. They'd sit at the observation deck and watch the constellations fly by. They'd go to each other's rooms and lie down together, chatting about their lives before Voltron. Lance even convinced Keith to let him paint his nails. Black, of course, because he's so emo.

Keith has never visited Lance so early, though. He gestured for the other boy to join him in his room. Keith obliged, walking over to Lance's bed and plopping himself down. He grabbed one of Lance's pillows from next to him and hugged it in front of himself. Taking in a deep breath he looked at Lance, who sat down next to him. "I miss him. I really, really miss him."

This was one topic that never came up between the two boys before. Shiro's disappearance shook the core of the Castle of Lions. The first couple of days were the hardest, obviously. Keith didn't leave his room, not even to train. Hunk tried to remain optimistic, but the stress began to effect his cooking and he started to lose confidence. Pidge was glued to her technology, endlessly searching for clues to the whereabouts of their leader as well as her missing family. Coran cleaned everything meticulously. Since Slav took over the operations of the teleduv, he had nothing better to do. Allura also locked herself in her room and Lance could swear he heard bouts of sobbing every time he passed by. Lance found himself at the hangars, talking to Blue about whatever came to his mind. She always seemed to calm him down.

Lance reached over and grabbed Keith into a tight embrace, ignoring the pillow in between them. He hated to see Keith so sad, didn't ever want to see him cry. At times like this, he found that it was better to stay silent and let the other person cry it out. At least that's what worked with his younger siblings back home.

Lance never cried in front of others even if he wanted to, as he did in that moment. As the eldest child, he never really had anybody to comfort him. Not that he was sad about it or anything. It was just a fact of life. He didn't want to trouble others with his tears, especially his parents. They loved him, he knew they did. But he understood that he wasn't really their child.

Lance's parents had a very hard time trying to concieve. Think Tina Fey from Baby Mama, except real. Thinking she couldn't have kids, his mom convinced his dad to adopt. Low and behold, Lance became the first McClain child. His parents never stopped trying, though. Thus Miguel, Alicia, Chris, Santi, and Trevor were born. The way his parents' eyes lit up whenever they saw or talked about his siblings stung a bit, but he got used to it. He took his role of big brother very seriously. And he never asked his mom or dad about his birth parents.

Lance's attention was brought back when Keith started to sniffle into him. "Shhh. It's okay. We'll find him. I just know we will," he whispers into the red paladin's hair. Unfortunately, he couldn't stop his thoughts from bubbling up inside. _Will we ever find him? I hope so because Keith still can't bond with Black. Why is Keith crying about this? I wish he would cry about me._

That thought sobered him up. Woah, why did he care what Keith thought of him? Plus, he probably wouldn't cry about him anyway. Shit, there he went again.

Keith sniffled once more, ceasing his tears and wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. He suddenly stood up and gave Lance a weak smile, throwing the pillow back down on the bed. "Thanks, Lance. That really helped," he shares as he walked out of the room. Lance is left staring at his door, contemplating his next move. He glanced at the clock. 3:45am. _Geez, poor guy. I hope he gets some sleep tonight._ Realizing he has about three more hours to sleep, he lays back down in his bed. He grabbed for the pillow Keith had just released back onto his bed. Hugging it close he sniffed it, the sweet musk scent of the red paladin helping him fall back asleep.

***

_"Ah, Blue Paladin. It's so great to finally meet you." Lance glanced to his left, taking in the sight of the Galra man before him. Long white hair, chiseled face, and eyes as bright and yellow as the sun. Lance was confused, though, for he had never met this person._

_He responded, "I fear I'm at a disadvantage here. I do not know your name."_

_The stranger let out a soft chuckle. "My name is not important. All you need to know is that I've been waiting for you for a long time."_

_"Not gonna lie, dude, that's kinda creepy."_

_"Is it? Well, let's just say I'm glad to see you're awakening your powers."_

_Powers? Was this guy serious here? Lance didn't have any powers. Compared to the rest of his comrades he was medicore at best. "You must have the wrong guy."_

_"No, Lance of Earth. I'm not mistaken at all. And you will see very soon that your powers are real. I do hope we'll meet again soon. Next time, outside of your dream." The Galra started to walk away._

_"Wait! Please. I need to know your name," Lance cried out to his retreating form._

_"If you must know," the stranger said as he turned back toward Lance. "I am called Lotor."_

Lance woke up to a chill down his spine and sweat on his brow. He felt like he hadn't slept at all and couldn't shake the feeling that something was very, very wrong.


	2. He Can Never Know

  
It crept up on him, like a sunburn that slowly fades to a tan or an anniversary you forgot was approaching. Either way, it took several days for Lance to realize how sick he really was. He started out with some sniffles, nothing too bad. They had tissues out there in space so he was fine. But then his eyes started to water. His team thought he was staying up late crying all the time so he had trouble explaining that, no he was fine. That he had something in his eye or something, which he knew they wouldn't believe but it got them off his back. The worst part was the simultaneous feelings of hot and cold that played out across his skin. A fever struck him, getting worse each day. The fire was accompanied by a constant feeling of ice, like a breeze was always on him, even though the ship had no fans. By the fourth day like this, Lance could take no more. He couldn't hide in his room from his team any more and when he could no longer stomach food, he knew he needed some help.

Coran had become a second father to him on the castle; a space uncle, he supposed. And because he got to know the man so well, Lance had an uncanny ability to know exactly where he was at any given time. So when he dragged his ass to the med bay, he knew the overly-excitable ginger was going to be there to greet him. The sound of the med bay door sliding open alerted Coran of his presence and he turned from his shelf of medicine to look at the boy. His eyes immediately widened when he allowed his gaze to pass over the blue paladin's body. "Quiznak, Lance. How did you let it get this bad?" He knew number three was feeling about "out of the weather" as the humans called it but he didn't expect it to get out of hand so fast. "You should have came here sooner," his attempt at a scold masked by his concern.

Lance prided himself on his near-perfect immune system so this sickness was as much a shock to him as it was to the man before him. "I don't know," he sniffled. "Coran, I feel like death and this is all so new to me. I never got sick when I was a kid, at least not this bad. Help me?" The last sentence came out on a cough.

"Of course, lad. Go change into a healing suit and we'll get you into a pod straight away."

"Thanks, man," Lance provided weakly. He walked over to the shelves of suits and quickly donned one. He even went as far as to fold his own clothes before putting them into the cubby he grabbed his suit from; he knew how Coran could get about everything having its place.

As he walked to the pod that Coran had readied, he tripped slightly, his vision getting spotty and his head reeling back with dizziness. Luckily the red-headed man was there to catch him and guide him to the pod. After several reassurances that he would be fine, the blue paladin was sealed away and Coran began some scans on the poor boy.

Coran took a couple minutes to tidy up the med bay, if only to keep himself busy. Not even five minutes in Pidge walked through the doors. Coran knew exactly why she was there and didn't even look up from what he was doing as he reached for one of the drawers and grabbed a bag of pills for the green paladin. Handing them to her he chided, "Now, number five. Keep in mind that this only mimics the effect sleeping has on your brain. It doesn't give your body the sleep it really needs." Giving her disheveled look a once over he sighed. "It's okay to take breaks every once and a while, you know." He brought his eyes back up to her face but he found that she was no longer looking at him or the baggy in her hands. She was looking at the healing pods, specifically the one Lance was in.

Her mouth dropped open slightly and her eyes turned sad. She snapped her attention back to Coran so fast he swore he felt wind past his hair. His eyebrows raised at her worried look. "Is he going to be okay?"

His eyes softened at this. "He'll be fine, don't worry. Just got a case of the jinglebums," he informed her. Pidge's expression turned into one of confusion and he realized that she might not understand his reference. He prompted, "Like one of your Earth colds."

"Oh, okay," she let out, tone and facial expression relaxing. A tiny smile crept to her face as she held up her pills. "Thanks again, Coran. I'll make sure not to let the power get to my head."

A quiet chuckle escaped the Ginger's lips. "Let the others know, if you see them, that Lance is doing well. He just needs a rest in the old healing chamber and he'll be good as new."

Nodding an affirmation, Pidge turned on her heel and walked out of the room, the door sliding closed behind her as she exited.

Going back to his medicines, he tidies them up and arranges them nicely before bringing his attention back to Lance's pod. It's been a little while since he was out in there so the scans were probably picking up on something by now. He squints at the Altean words that cross the screen. Taking in what he was reading, his eyes suddenly widened and he took a step back. His hand came to his chest as he stared at the pod, trying to come up with any other explanation for what he was seeing than the one that was coming to mind. Overcome with apprehension, he raced to Allura's room, hoping the Princess was awake by now.

He heard a shuffling of feet glide across the floor and the door oepend wide in response to his incessant knocking. Allura was still in her sleeping gown and slippers, but she seemed to be awake enough for what Coran needed her for. He nods his head in the direction of the hallway that lead to the med bay. "You're going to want to take a look at this," he offered.

Brows raised in a questioning manner, she followed Coran back towards where he came from: back towards the pod in which Lance was currently resting. When she saw him she gasped, looking to her royal advisor for some sort of clarity. "He had a fever, some sniffles, and chills all over his body," he shrugged. "I thought a turn in the pod would help him out and let me figure out what was going on. But, my Altea, Princess. I didn't expect this." He glanced at Allura standing next to him, face practically glued to the screen of the pod as the scans raced across the screen. Several ticks passed before she stepped back, eyes closed, and her brows furrowed.

"I was afraid this might happen," she divulged. She didn't have to look at the man next to her to know Coran's jaw had basically dropped to the floor.

Sputtering out his words, he replied, "What do you mean? You mean this," he gesticulated to the pod wildly, "is normal?" At this point he was uttelry flabbergasted at the Princess's response, or lack thereof.

"Not necessarily, no. But you knew the original blue paladin." She opened her eyes and brought them to Coran's. "The blue lion chose Lance for a reason, Coran. And this is it."

The red-head looked nervously between the Princess, who had returned her attention to the pod, and Lance. Back and forth, back and forth, enough times that he almost gave himself whiplash. He continued this pattern of astonishment until Allura's narrowed eyes called his to her once more. She took a step closer to the man as she whispered ominously, "He can never know, Coran. He mustn't find out about this."

Nodding, though not fully understanding the severity of the situation, he watched as the Princess turned swiftly towards the exit, her stark white hair bouncing behind her with every stride as she left the med bay. He considered the information on the pod once more before hightailing it out of the med bay himself, calling it a night before he started to rip the hair from his scalp in frustration. The lights shut off automatically following his departure and the room was shrouded in darkness, the only light illuminating the room coming from the panel on the healing chamber Lance was laying in.

_Lance found himself walking through a swamp, pushing his way through Vines and fallen trees as he made his way deeper into the marshland. He had the feeling he was looking for something, but for what he couldn't quite place. Birds cooing in the air and bugs chirping on the ground the only sounds to fill the passage of time._

_After what felt like hours, Lance came across an opening, a wide field that seemed uncharacteristic of the swamp he had just been marching through. Shrugging at the minor inconsistencies, he walked further into the opening. A familiar figure stood ten feet away, walking towards him as soon as Lance was spotted._

_Lotor._

_Lance didn't know if he should be excited to see this man again, or nervous. It was probably safe to say both. Yeah, both seemed to fit the bill. As the Galra approached him a grin cracked across his face. "Lance of Earth. We really have to stop meeting like this. Dreams are nothing like the real world, you know."_

_Lance just stared back. Lotor could sense his warriness it seemed for he let his grin fall to a slight smirk as he stepped even closer to the blue paladin. "Lance, I wish you wouldn't be so cold. I can help you, you know."_

_A scoff was all Lotor was rewarded with. "I don't need your help, thank you very much. There is nothing wrong with me." Lance did his best not to let his voice waver but with yellow eyes burning into him it was difficult to maintain a sense of calm._

_"I didn't mean to say there was. My apologies, dear Lance."_

_"Get to the point, Lotor. Why did you come find me again?"_

_"I sensed some disturbances from within you. Some...ambivalence if you will." His eyes raked over Lance sending uncomfortable tingles all over his body. "You've been thinking about what I said last time, have you not?"_

_"And like I said, you have the wrong guy. I don't have any powers."_

_"Hmm...we shall see."_

_Frustration was building in Lance from the moment he spotted Lotor again and he just couldn't take it anymore. Anger spilling forth, he yells, "What do you want with me?!" Tears prick the sides of his eyes and his voice felt raw with emotion._

_Lotor looks stunned in front of him, not expecting the reaction he was gifted. He cools his expression to one tinged with sadness and...confusion? "You don't realize how important you really are."_

_"Yeah, well that's nothing new. I'm not really a key player in the game called life."_

_"I beg to differ."_

_"You don't even know me."_

_"Don't I?"_

_Lance hesitated. He had no response for that, how could he? So Lotor continued on. "My dear Lance," he reached to cup Lance's cheek, the blue paladin freezing under his touch. "Soon you will see what I see and you will know your worth." Another eerie grin paints his mouth. "Or are you afraid your precious red paladin would be scared of your power?"_

_Lance's spine straightened at that, swatting Lotor's hand from his face. No one else knew about his feelings for Keith. Hell, he didn't even know his feelings for the other boy. He had talked to Blue once, maybe, since his last heart-to-heart with the red paladin but that was it. How did this near-stranger know about that? "What does Keith have anything to do with this?"_

_A deep chuckle greeted Lance. "Maybe nothing. Maybe everything. We shall see." His words practically drip with malice and Lance could say for the first time in his life he was absolutely paralyzed with fear. He was so shocked that he didn't even notice when Lotor disappeared. Or when the swamp dissipated._

Or when he's no longer in his dream but awake in the med bay, the glass of the pod shattered at his feet and Coran staring at him from across the room. _How did this happen?_ he wondered. _Did I do this?_ But before the ginger could answer his unspoken questions his vision became spotty and he blacked out, the sound of Lotor's sinister cackle accompanying his beating heart as he hit the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I may need to update my tag about Lotor...he totally is a dick. Stop playing with our precious Lance, you psycho. plzzzzzzz
> 
> Anywho, sorry this fic won't be updated regularly. My job is taking over my life so I'm slow to inspiration but I've got a couple more chapters planned out (for the most part) and I'm sure more will come to me. I appreciate all of of my readers and I hope you all continue to follow along on this journey! Enjoy what's to come!


	3. Join Me

In hindsight, he probably wasn't supposed to see this. But there he was standing ramrod straight and frozen in place.  

 

Keith was worried about Lance, who had stopped seeking him out after training and rarely ate meals with the team. When he did see him, the blue paladin was covered in so much sweat, his breaths came shaky, and his skin was a bit too pale to be a coincidence. But Lance never brought it up so Keith decided not to pursue it. 

 

Earlier that day, though, he overheard Pidge telling Hunk that Lance was in a healing pod. She said it was just for a cold, but her voice was grave and her words were clipped. And that just didn't sit well with him. 

 

After the daily training, of which Lance was missing from, Keith tried to think up some excuse to check in on the blue paladin. Something about making sure his subordinate was okay. Subordinate? No, that wasn't right. Even though Keith was now the standing leader he still felt like one of the others; couldn't bring himself to hold himself higher like Shiro. He didn't want the attention or the expectations that came with the title of Black Paladin. Hell, he couldn't even bond with him. Either way, it didn't matter. All that mattered was whether or not Lance was okay. He missed their excursions. 

 

He also knew from said excursions that Lance wasn't used to speaking up about the things that really bothered him (in contrast to the seemingly pointless things he complained about on a daily basis). The blue paladin divulged that his parents had a lot to do with it, albeit unintentionally. Truth was Lance didn't want to burden his adoptive parents. He took on all the hardships by himself so that he could be the perfect big brother and a son they didn't regret taking in. It hurt Keith's heart to hear this from the other boy, but he couldn't change the past. All he could do was hope that it would get better, encouraging Lance to share what was on his mind and calling him out when he was hiding something. 

 

Needless to say, Pidge's acquired knowledge of Lance's condition spurred his interest and that was how Keith found himself outside the door of the med bay. He figured that all he was going to find was a sick Cuban boy floating in a pod, but still he had to see it with his own eyes. 

 

As the door slid open he prepared to call out to Coran, who undoubtedly would be there, when he suddenly heard the sound of shattering glass and a blood-curdling scream. He couldn't wrap his mind around the fact that the body connected to that voice was Lance's. It was all too much seeing the boy standing in the broken pod, yelling at the top of his lungs. Lance's voice simmered out into nothingness shortly after and Keith could see Lance regain awareness as he locked eyes with Coran, who was sitting at the desk staring just as bewilderedly as Keith. And that's when Lance suddenly closed his eyes and began to sway forwards. Without thinking, Keith ran as fast he could into the room, diving to catch Lance. He didn't care that glass was cutting into his legs and feet. He was just glad that he got to Lance in time before he fell to the ground. 

 

Letting out a breath he didn't know he was holding, Keith slowly turned towards the red-headed man. Being careful not to jostle the blue paladin, Keith cradled him into his chest as he asked, "Coran. What the hell is going on here?" 

 

The ginger stared at him for several beats before shaking his head, seemingly attempting to gather his thoughts. "I...I don't know, lad. I don't know." Coran looked away from Keith at that last bit, his eyes checking out as if the man was looking at something on a different plane of existence. 

 

Keith picked Lance up and started walking toward the exit. "I think it's best if I bring him to his room." Keith ceased walking to look over his shoulder, throwing  Coran an impassive stare. "He needs to recover and after what just happened I don't want to put him back in another pod. He needs some rest in his own comfortable bed." 

 

Coran just nodded in silent agreement with an auidble gulp. He was still wearing that look that screamed _this is worse than I thought_ but maybe Keith was just seeing things. He left the red-headed man in the med bay as he once again set out on his quest to bring Lance to his room. 

 

When their destination was reached, Keith gently layed Lance onto his bed. He pulled back the covers and tucked the blue paladin in, all without waking the other boy up. Which wasn't too surprising; Lance always slept like the dead. 

 

Keith took this opportunity to watch the blue paladin slumber. He noticed that Lance's short hair seemed to curl in around his face. He noticed that Lance's first instinct was to roll on his side and ball his hands into the sheets. He noticed that Lance let out the softest snore imaginable, not unlike the faint buzzing of electrical equipment. All in all, watching Lance sleep was peaceful and Keith could feel a blush rush to his cheeks. 

 

He resisted a sudden urge to brush the hair off of Lance's forehead, pausing just before his hand connected with presumably warm skin. It took a lot of restraint, for some reason, but Keith just let his hand fall to his lap once again. Instead he slid into the bed next to Lance, on top of the blankets. He curled into the warmth that came from Lance's body and found that he was more comfortable than he had been in a very long time. Listening to the quiet breaths of the blue paladin, Keith found himself lulling into a peaceful sleep himself, not bothering to set an alarm. 

 

*** 

 

Allura let out a gasp when she entered the med bay. "What happened here?" she asked, watching her royal advisor sweep up the remainder of the glass. 

 

Coran paused his work to look up at the Princess, something akin to fear in his eyes. "I'm afraid it's worse than we thought." He finished scooping up the broken bits and stood up facing what used to be a healing pod. His eyes clouded over as he fixed his stare to the pod before him. "Much worse." 

 

*** 

 

_Lance found himself back in the damn swamp again. This time he knew what he would find in the open field. He stalked up to it with all the confidence he could muster, feeling a gentle heat taking over his body._ Comfortable _, he thought._ And familiar, like my abuela's hugs _._  

 

_Lotor's smirk grew when he saw Lance approach from across the wide patch of grass. "Something is different about you, blue paladin."_  

 

_Lance returned a sarcastic smile, closing his eyes and cocking his head to the side. "Ah yes. You seem to be noticing the lack of fucks I give about all of this. Charming, aren't they?" He gestured to his invisible surrounding._  

 

_Lotor didn't find it nearly as amusing as Lance and in an instant he was in front of the Cuban boy, hand wrapped around his throat. He coughed rough and struggled to gather another breath. "Fuck you," Lance croaked._  

 

_The grasp on his throat tightened. "You'd do best to remember who you're speaking to. I don't take well to insolent behavior. Even from you, blue paladin."_  

 

_Lotor released his grip on Lance's jugular, allowing the boy to fall to a crumpled heap on the ground, hard._  

 

_"This is only the beginning, dear Lance. I can feel the power coursing through you. You have so much potential. I could help you become stronger if you'd join me. What do you say?"_  

 

_Lance struggled to stand up from his weakened position. Gathering enough breath to muster out a response he clips back, "I'm not so low as to need your help. But nice try."_  

 

_Lotor just chuckled, that eerie chuckle that always sent shivers down Lance's spine. "Just be careful then, dear Lance. You wouldn't want to let those powers go out of control. You could hurt someone important to you...someone like the red paladin, perhaps."_  

 

_Lance closed his eyes, distraught and trying not to shed tears of frustration. He didn't know what was going on. He didn't have powers so why did the Galra before him consistently bring it up? Aside from the incident with the pod earlier nothing strange had happened. And he didn't even know_ _what he did or how it all occurred. Surely this was all just a bad dream. He didn't want to hurt anybody, especially not Keith._  

 

_Lance lifted his head to ask Lotor to clarify, slowly opening his eyes. But he was greeted with an empty field again, the Galra having pulled another vanishing act._

 

_His question was left unasked and unanswered._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unexpected POV switch. Tbh y'all the idea for this chapter came to me after I had taken some melatonin and was in the limbo stage of awake and sleeping. It probably made no sense, but like, can't stop won't stop?


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